


When The Lights Go Out

by thingswaitingtobewritten



Category: SEAL Team (TV)
Genre: Angst, Brotherhood, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Military
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-20
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-11-26 02:41:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18174755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thingswaitingtobewritten/pseuds/thingswaitingtobewritten
Summary: Something goes dangerously wrong during an operation for two members of Bravo team.





	1. Chapter 1

This feeling of helplessness definitely rivalled listening to Sonny in the torpedo tube as he slowly drowned. But now it was another teammate that Clay had to wait for him to die. And this time Clay could feel his own grasp on life beginning to slip away. For all of his training, all of his skill, he couldn’t do anything to save himself or his brother.

****

Of all the missions to go wrong, it had to be the one that took place on the frigid Baltic Sea. The target that they had been going in for was consistently heavily protected on land, and their only shot at grabbing him was while he was crossing the Sea on his way from St. Petersburg to Copenhagen, while the amount of security he could bring with him would be limited. The location had been less than ideal, as the water temperatures in April were barely above freezing. Although the original plan didn’t include going into the water.

  
The plan had been to wait in zodiacs under cover of darkness, intercept the target’s ship and quietly board. The first step had worked perfectly, they slipped alongside the boat without being detected, but that’s about all that went right. As soon as they boarded, they had contact with hostiles. After those first shots, the whole boat knew that they were there, blowing their cover.  
Nevertheless, they systematically made their way through the narrow corridors, taking down any hostiles that they encountered. It was when they reached the top deck that shit really hit the fan. Their target stepped out of a doorway, brandishing a manic grin and a beeping package.

  
“Bomb!” Bravo Two shouted as he spotted the target, but it was too late. As if in slow motion, Clay saw the bomb leave the man’s hands and sail right into the middle of the tightly formed group. He dove off to the side, but it was too late, and the explosion hit him directly in the chest while he was midair. The momentum of the blast pushed him backwards, and Clay felt the cold railing of the deck collide with his left side as he frantically reached for something to grab onto. His fingers tantalizingly brushed the railing and then he was falling.

  
Clay smacked hard on the surface of the frigid water, the remaining air in his lungs being forced out as he impacted. The bitter cold was like a second punch to the chest, as if he was stabbed with 10,000 icicles simultaneously. He involuntarily gasped for air and inhaled a lungful of liquid ice. Instinctively, his body clawed for the surface, and he came up hacking and choking. His legs were already seizing up from the unimaginable cold. He blinked the water out of his eyes and saw with a sinking stomach that the ship that he’d been so rudely pushed overboard from was already a fair distance away and going too fast for him to catch up to it.

  
His head whipped to the side as he heard an echo of his coughing. Clay reached up and finding that he still had his helmet on, switched on the light. Its flickering light illuminated the pale, bloodied face of Bravo Four. Trent bobbed up and down in the water, sputtering as his mouth and nose sank below the surface. As quickly as his cramping muscles would let him, Clay swam over to his teammate and latched onto him.

  
“Trent!” He tapped gently on his face, noticing the lack of his helmet, “You with me?” Trent groaned in response and coughed up more water. Attempting to hold him up with one hand, Clay pried his eyelids open with the other hand, and his fears were confirmed. Trent’s pupils were unequal and sluggish in reacting to the light of the lamp. “You have a concussion buddy, I need you to stay awake.” Clay said as forcefully as he could with chattering teeth. Trent’s eyelids slipped closed again, and Clay frantically shook him, “Trent! You can’t sleep!”

  
With his concussion and the extreme risk of hypothermia, unconsciousness was essentially the death penalty, but Trent didn’t seem to care as he ignored Clay’s pleas and went slack.  
As Trent’s body relaxed, he sank into the water and Clay’s frozen fingers just barely managed to grab onto his gear and haul him up. He latched his arms around the larger man’s chest and forced his legs to move regardless of the pain.

  
Clay wasn’t kidding himself. They were in a dangerous situation. In water that was this cold, with no protection, the longest they would last would be 25 minutes, and that was stretching it. He could only hope that the rest of the team would be able to radio HAVOC about their disappearance and they’d send in the recovery team. All Clay had to do was keep treading water until they got there.

  
That was easier said than done. Already trying to keep the two of them in their gear above the water was proving to be too much. The freezing water was quickly leeching away any energy Clay had. Determined to keep Trent out of the water, Clay held him up as high as possible as his own head began to duck under the surface. His legs felt like heavy blocks of ice that could barely manage to kick.

  
If he’d had enough air to do so, Clay would’ve screamed out his frustration when he realized that Trent was no longer shivering. He tried to go through all of his training, trying to find something that he could do to save them, but he came up with nothing. All he could do was wait. Wait for rescue or wait for his body to give out and for them both to quietly slip under the surface, to disappear from this world.

  
He sobbed, half choking on water, and his tears mingled with the droplets of water on his face. The pain in his legs was getting to be too much, it was overwhelming every sense that he had. He could barely manage a kick to give himself half a second to breathe.

  
_We’re going to drown here, I can’t do it. I can’t keep my teammate, my brother, alive. I’ve failed the team, I've let everyone down._

  
Clay gasped for air, but instead of the oxygen his body so desperately craved, he breathed in what felt like liquid nitrogen, suffocating and bone-chilling. He could no longer feel his arms that were wrapped around Trent, he couldn’t feel anything really, except for the pull of peaceful slumber. As his eyes slipped closed Clay could’ve sworn, he heard faint shouting, but he was sure that it was his frozen brain creating things to try to give him one last boost of energy. It jolted him enough that he could send out one final coherent thought.

  
_I’m sorry._

  
And silently, the two men were enveloped by the welcoming waves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my first ever fic, which is exciting!  
> Sorry for any inaccuracies.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The remaining team realize that Trent and Clay are no longer on the boat with them.

When the bomb went off, there was a brief moment of chaos as they all dove away from the blast, but Sonny quickly rolled to his feet and picked up his gun. He fell into formation as they quickly approached the target, roughly ripping away the gun he was trying to pull out. As Jason cuffed him with zip ties, Sonny looked around. 

“Where are Four and Six?” He asked, “They’re not on deck.” 

“Must’ve gone overboard to avoid the blast,” Ray said gruffly and everyone’s faces tense up. The temperature of the water was hovering just above freezing, and neither man had dive gear on. They would be completely exposed to the elements. 

“HAVOC, this is One,” Jason keyed his radio, “Four and Six are overboard.”

“Copy Bravo One, we’ll send in the recovery team, they’re 20 mikes out.” 

The team exchanged grim looks. Trent and Clay most likely didn’t have that kind of time. In water that was this cold, unconsciousness would most likely happen within 15 minutes. By the time the recovery team reached their brothers, they’d be gone. 

“They can’t wait that long Jace,” Ray voiced all of their thoughts, “We need another plan.” Jason huffed a breath, trying to think of what they could do. “HAVOC,” He radioed again, “Permission to send Two and Five to exfil point with the target in one of the zodiacs while myself and Three take the other to go get our boys.” 

“Stand-by,” Came the response, and the team waited in anxious silence. Sonny paced slightly back and forth. The more time spent on deciding what to do, the farther they were moving away from Trent and Clay. 

Finally, their radios crackled, “Permission granted, go get ‘em.” 

The team jumped into action, quickly making their way to the lower decks, making sure to cover their position in case there were any hostiles that they’d missed the first time round. Jason wished that they could just run straight to the zodiacs left tied up alongside the ship, but he knew that covering their position was something that needed to be done. He wasn’t going to risk another of his men’s lives. 

Once at the zodiacs, they split apart. 

“Bring them back,” Ray said in parting as the two boats began to roar their way away from each other. 

Sonny looked at his watch, it had been over five minutes since Trent and Clay went overboard and it would take the zodiac a little more than double that to reach their location. He looked at Jason and saw his grim expression mirrored on his face. Jason silently opened up the engine more, in hope that they’d get there in time. 

They’d turned on all the lights that the zodiac had to help them scan the dark water for their men. All Sonny could see was pitch black, rolling water and his stomach began to sink. Then, he saw something. 

“There!” He pointed towards a weak, flickering light that hovered just above the surface about 15 meters away. As they drew closer, they saw the dire situation. Trent was seemingly unconscious and being held above the water by Clay. Clay looked as though he was on his last legs, he was bobbing under the surface and coming up coughing. 

“Clay!” Sonny shouted, “You hang on, we’re coming!” 

Just before the zodiac reached them, Clay’s eyes closed and he and Trent quickly slipped under the surface. 

In desperation, Sonny dived into the water in the spot they’d disappeared from. The cold forced all of the air out of his body and it felt as though it froze him in place. He forced his eyes open, the cold feeling like needles stabbing into him everywhere. There, a couple feet below him, he could see the two men, slowly sinking. He reached out and just managed to grab the strap of Trent’s gear, then Clay’s. Hauling the two waterlogged men to the surface was no easy task, especially with the water feeling as though it was pulling out every single ounce of warmth left in his body. 

Jason was left on the zodiac, feeling helpless as he watched Sonny disappear into the dark waves. He sent a prayer to anyone, anything that would listen that he would get all three of his men back. It felt like an eternity, watching the water, waiting for something to happen. Finally, Sonny surfaced, heaving for air. He dragged up Trent and Clay, grunting from the effort. 

“Get them on board!” He gasped. Jason reached down and grabbed Clay under the arms. Clay’s face was bloodless, his lips purple. But what concerned Jason the most was that he didn’t seem to be breathing. 

He heaved Clay into the bottom of the boat, then grabbed Trent. He was as pale as Clay and was emitting cold. But Jason heard a stuttering breath as he pulled him up. Once they were both in the safety of the boat, Sonny tried to climb up himself, but his body was shivering to such a degree that he had no strength to pull himself up. Jason reached down and hauled him out of the water, depositing him in the bottom of the boat with the others. 

“You good?” He shouted to Sonny as he opened up the engine as far as it would go.

Sonny nodded, his hyperventilating breaths slowly evening out. He got up and immediately started checking on Clay. He grabbed the first aid kit at the front of the boat and took the scissors inside it to quickly cut off Clay’s gear. Sonny put his face by Clay’s mouth and waited. 

“He’s not breathing Jace!” Sonny shouted. Jason nodded grimly and toggled his radio. 

“HAVOC, this is One. We have Four and Six, both appear to be severely hypothermic, Six isn’t breathing. We need the medivac, now!” 

The next ten minutes feel like they were in Hell. Jason delegated Sonny to steering the boat, his shivering affecting his ability to treat the other two. Jason wrapped Trent and Clay in space blankets once stripping them of their frozen clothes. He then had to start CPR on Clay, Jason couldn’t feel a pulse.

The zodiac bouncing around on the waves made it extremely difficult to effectively perform CPR and Jason felt tears welling up in his eyes as he continued to push down on his youngest team member’s chest. 

“C’mon Clay,” He muttered, “You need to breathe! C’mon Clay! Breathe!” 

It felt surreal like he was floating outside of his own body, watching himself desperately pounding on Clay’s chest. Clay looked dead, his body limply jerking in response to the pressure of CPR. When Jason did rescue breaths, Clay’s purple lips felt like ice. 

Just as Jason heard the medivac chopper, Clay finally showed signs of life and coughed up mouthfuls of brackish water. Jason turned him on his side to help him expel the liquid, “Good job Clay,” He encouraged, even though Clay was a long ways away from hearing him, “You’re going to be okay.” 

The medivac hovered above the zodiac, Sonny having stopped the engine as they secured their brothers onto the lowered stretchers and watched as they were lifted up and flown away. 

Then Jason could turn his attention to Sonny, who was still shivering. 

“Take off your clothes,” He ordered and Sonny obeyed, his numb fingers struggling to work. Jason then handed him the space blanket that had been wrapped around Trent. As soon as Sonny was secure, he turned on the engine and began the seemingly endless journey to exfil. 

As the boat jumped around on the waves, he took a breath, trying to diminish the feeling of extreme helplessness that had been plaguing him ever since Clay and Trent went overboard, but it didn’t go away. Because now his men were out of his hands, flying away to the nearest hospital and he couldn’t do anything for them. If he couldn’t keep his men safe, what was the point in being their leader? Sometimes he didn’t know anymore.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here is chapter two! I hope everyone enjoys it, I wrote the first chapter thinking it would be a one shot but you guys inspired me to write more! I'm not sure how many chapters this story will have, I'm not really a planner when I write, so it may be just one more chapter or there might be more.  
> Thanks to everyone who commented/gave kudos on the first chapter!


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all of the kudos and kind comments! I really, really appreciate them :)  
> So the beginning of this chapter kinda kicked my butt, hopefully it's alright! Let me know what you think.  
> Thanks for reading!  
> Also, sorry if I get any medical or military things wrong. I'm getting all of my info from the internet. I have literally 12 tabs open with medical information on them lol.

As Clay reached the helo hovering over the water, the tentative signs of life that Jason had coaxed out of him stopped. The corpsman in charge of keeping him alive immediately jumped into action and started compressions.

“Edwards, I need you to intubate!” He shouted over the din of the helo blades to his fellow corpsman. They luckily had three HM’s tonight, with two men in serious trouble they would be stretched thin as it was.

The second SEAL gets winched into the helo and then they’re off, flying as fast as they can to the nearest hospital.

Edwards has seen many dead and dying men during his service, and the blond man lying in front of him looked dead. His face was so pale it was almost grey and his lips were purple. When Edwards opened the man’s mouth to intubate, he felt cold practically radiating from him. The corpsman expertly swept the tongue out of the way and deftly inserted the tube, hooking it up to the Ambu bag and sent air rushing into the SEAL’s lungs.

He looked over to where the other SEAL is being worked on by Scott. He appears to be more stable than the blond, Scott is working fast, but not frantically.

“Take over for me,” Russell gasped from the effort of providing continuous CPR. They swiftly switched places and Edwards attention is laser-focused on keeping the blond’s heart beating. After a couple rounds of CPR, he felt something crack within the man’s chest and he had a brief moment of sympathy. But he considered a couple of broken ribs a decent price to pay for the chance to live.

“Coming up on the hospital!” The pilot yelled, and then they landed and it’s a flurry of activity. There are two medical teams with stretchers waiting for them and they efficiently unload their patients and pass them off to the doctors.  
  
One immediately climbed on the stretcher with blondie, straddling him to continue compressions. And then the two SEALs were whipped away and into the hospital. As the helo took off, Edwards took a deep breath, his arms aching. He’d done all he could, hopefully both of the SEALs made it out of this.

  

******

  

The emergency room became full of activity as the two men were wheeled in with their respective teams. To a bystander it would look like complete chaos, but in reality, it was slightly controlled chaos.

After an evaluation, Clay was classified as stage four hypothermia, his body temperature hovering around 22 degrees Celsius. He was hooked up to a cardiopulmonary bypass machine to take over for his heart and lungs, all while slowly warming up his blood. He was settled in a room in the ICU to be carefully monitored.

Trent was classified as stage three and the team quickly moved to provide active core rewarming, using warm intravenous fluids and warm, humid oxygen alongside hot water bottles tucked around his body. He was placed in the ICU room beside Clay.

  

******

  

The three hours of debriefing were hell for the remainder of Bravo team. They were getting no updates on Trent and Clay and the team was in agony. Brock was closed off and defensive, Sonny was downright angry and Jason and Ray were trying to hold things together. They were flown out of the country with no word on their two men.

When they landed in Virginia Beach, Sonny muttered something about a bar and stalked off. He couldn’t get the vision of his brothers silently sinking below the waves and the image of Jason desperately pounding on Clay’s chest, out of his head. He was going to solve this with a tried and true method. Alcohol. And lots of it. But before he could gather all of his stuff from his cage, Jason blocked the doorway.

“They’re both alive.” He got straight to the point, “We got an update from the Swedish hospital that they’re at. Clay needed to be put on a special machine, but he’s off of it now. They’re going to be put on a med flight tomorrow morning.”

Sonny’s breath hitched without his volition. Jason put a hand on his shoulder, “They’re going to be okay.”

He composed himself and nodded silently, swallowing a lump in his throat.

“How about you come to my place,” Jason suggested, “Mickey and Emma are at their grandparents, and Brock and Ray are coming. We could watch a movie, we could even watch your favourite, what was it, Frozen?” His mouth quirked into a smile.

Sonny rolled his eyes, “I’ll join you, but I’m not watching some princess, Disney shit.”

Unfortunately for him, that was the majority of the DVDs that Jason had.

“Ever heard of Netflix, Boss?” They ribbed him, then settled down to watch How To Train Your Dragon, which was surprisingly good, not that Sonny would admit it. For a bit, he could think of something else other than his two brothers, pale and cold. But then he thought of how much the kid would like the movie and how Trent would join Sonny in teasing him.

Eventually, Sonny fell into a fitful sleep on Jason’s couch.  


*****

  

Jason awoke to the vibrating of his phone. Through bleary eyes, he read the name Eric and instantly shot up, answering the call.

“Any more news?” 

“They’re safety on base and in the hospital.” Eric’s voice reported over the phone.

Jason heaved a sigh of relief. “Can we go visit them?”

“I had to pull a couple strings, but yes, you can. They’re keeping them both in ICU at the moment, although Trent is supposed to be moved to another room later today. While they’re in Intensive Care, it’s only two people at a time, the hospital was very strict on that.”

“Copy,” Jason said, relief obvious in his voice. He hung up and shook Ray awake, who had fallen asleep on blankets laying on the floor, “They’re home and we can visit them.”

Ray was overcome with relief. He turned to Sonny and Brock and woke them up, telling them the news as soon as they were coherent.

Sonny felt as though this was the first time that he could truly breathe since they first noticed that Trent and Clay were missing from the boat. They’re alright, he kept repeating to himself on the drive to the hospital. They’re okay. We saved them.

The military hospital that Trent and Clay were at was no different than other hospitals, in that it was a maze. They wandered around, trying to follow contradictory signs pointing to the ICU before they had to humble themselves and ask for directions. After being escorted to the ICU doors, they reported in at the front desk.

Hospitals always made Brock’s skin crawl. The ICU was even worse; it was too quiet. Rooms with glass walls faced a centre area and within those rooms, patients lay as still as death. The four of them split up, Sonny and Ray going to Trent’s room first and Jason and himself going into Clay’s.

He was lying eerily still, an oxygen mask covering his mouth and nose. A doctor was standing beside his bed and looked up when they entered.

“You must be his teammates,” He stated, “I’m Doctor Yemen, I’m one of Clay’s doctors.”

“How’s our boy?” Jason cut straight to the chase.

“Well,” Doctor Yemen began, “His temperature when he arrived in the hospital in Sweden was 71.6 degrees, which is severely hypothermic. He didn’t have a pulse and couldn’t breathe on his own, so they hooked him up to a machine that essentially pumps and oxygenates his blood for him. It took about six hours for them to warm him up into a normal temperature range, which is 97.5-99.5 degrees. He was weaned off the machine and was able to support himself. He was then flown here.”

Jason tapped his foot impatiently, they’d known all of that information already.

“While he was settling in, his oxygen saturation began to drop,” the doctor continued, “We did a couple scans and found that he has what we believe to be early onset ventilator-associated pneumonia. This could be from the combination of him aspirating water and his emergency intubation. So far he’s doing well with just the oxygen mask, but with his broken ribs, it’s quite painful for him to cough. We will keep monitoring him closely.”

“Thank you, doctor.” Jason said, his heart sinking into his stomach at the new information, “Can we talk to him now?”

“Of course.” Doctor Yemen smiled a bit and stepped aside.

Brock sat on one of the chairs beside Clay’s bed. Clay seemed to be asleep, his breath rhythmically fogging up the oxygen mask. Then his whole body was thrown into a painful series of coughs and his eyes opened with a moan.

“Hey there,” Brock said gruffly, “How’re you feeling?”

Clay moaned again, but gave a slight smile under the mask, “You found us. I was starting to worry that you wouldn’t.”

“We got you, Clay,” Jason said fiercely, “We found you.”

Clay nodded before another round of coughs racked through him. His eyes clenched shut with pain and his knuckles were white as his hands gripped the thin hospital sheets. Brock grabbed one of them, trying to offer some semblance of comfort. The coughs eventually subsided, leaving Clay clammy and panting. He took a couple of heaving breaths, then looked around with panic.

“Trent!” He exclaimed as well as he could through the muffling of the mask, “Where’s Trent, is he okay?”

Jason held out his hands to try to placate him, “Trent’s in the other room, he’s doing well. They’re planning on transferring him out of the ICU later today.”

Clay relaxed against the bed at that, then began to say earnestly, “I tried to hold him up, he wasn’t staying awake. I couldn’t,” He coughed a couple of times, “I couldn’t let him die.”

“And you didn’t. You saved him.” Jason soothed, slightly concerned. Clay’s face was flushed slightly and his eyes were glazed over. A nurse came in to check on Clay’s monitors and Jason pulled her aside.

“He looks like he has a fever, is that normal?” He asked quietly, holding back his anxiousness.

The nurse smiled sympathetically, “It is, and we’ve administered some medication to hopefully prevent it from rising and bring it down.”

“Hopefully,” Jason clung onto the word, “Does that mean there’s a chance it might not work?”

“Yes, there’s that chance,” She explained patiently, “We don’t have his cultures back from the lab yet, and once we get those back we can adjust his antibiotics to best fight it.”

He nodded and let her step out of the room. Brock looked up questioningly from Clay’s bedside, but he brushed him aside. Clay seemed to have drifted off, so they let him sleep and exited the room.

They knocked on the doorway to Trent’s room, startling Sonny and Ray. They stood and let Jason and Brock sit, then went to visit Clay.

“He’s a bit out of it,” Brock warned them, then turned to Trent, who seemed more coherent and with a nasal cannula instead of a mask.

“How’re you doing?” Jason asked, pulling up a chair.

“I’m doing alright, my head hurts,” Trent motioned to the cut on his forehead held together with butterfly stitches, “And I still feel cold even though I’m not. Other than that I’m just peachy.”

His smile faded, “How’s Clay?”

Jason and Brock exchanged glances, then Jason answered carefully, “They think that he’s developing pneumonia. But for now, he’s on antibiotics and is doing well enough for them to be happy.”

Trent’s face dropped. “I remember him telling me to stay awake,” He said morosely, “But I couldn’t do it. I left him to do all the work in keeping us alive.”

Brock opened his mouth to protest, but Jason beat him to it.

“You listen here,” He says fiercely, “This is in no way your fault. You were injured, you are not responsible for Clay getting sick.”

Trent looked unconvinced.

“He’s going to be okay Trent.” Jason said, then to himself, “He’s going to be okay.”


	4. Chapter 4

_Clay’s going to be okay._ Jason reminded himself, but every time he had to do so, he believed it a little less. He was sitting beside Clay’s bed, where he was fighting for every breath. It had been two days since Trent and Clay had arrived stateside and Clay had started going downhill. His fever had begun to spike and his oxygen saturation got increasingly worse. The doctors had continually upped his oxygen but to no avail. So now more drastic measures had to be taken. 

 

It physically hurt Jason to see Clay’s chest heaving up and down for oxygen. And he knew it hurt Clay too, even with the pain medication, his broken ribs were not helping the situation. He looked exhausted and spent most of his time sleeping fitfully. When he was awake he couldn’t talk between his gasping breaths. 

 

“Alright Clay,” Doctor Yemen said, “This is a BiPAP mask, it’s going to help you breathe a bit easier. What it does is it uses pressurized air to force oxygen into your lungs. Hopefully, it will make you not have to work so hard, do you understand?”

 

Clay weakly nodded and Jason grabbed his hand. He’d read online that people could panic at first when wearing the mask. He wanted to centre and ground Clay as much as possible to make this work. If the BiPAP machine didn’t work, there was talk of intubation. And from the research that Jason had done, the survival rate of pneumonia once intubation was required was around 50%. He didn't like those odds. 

 

“The mask has to have a good seal on it, so it may be a bit uncomfortable and feel rather tight,” The doctor explained as the nurse began to situate the mask on Clay’s face. To Jason, it looked like a larger, and scarier, oxygen mask that covered Clay’s mouth and nose and also had a support resting on his forehead. He assumed that was to provide more stability and a better seal. Clay squirmed uncomfortably as the mask was placed over his face. 

 

“Turning it on now,” The nurse warned as he pressed a few buttons on the screen of one of the multiplying machines surrounding Clay’s bed. It started up, with the sound of rushing air, then sucking it back. 

 

Clay felt the air force its way into his lungs and panicked. It felt wholly unnatural to have a rhythm set for breathing that wasn’t your own. He reached up to try to claw the mask off, but a hand stopped him. 

 

“Relax, Clay,” Jason said in a calm, yet authoritative tone, “Let the machine do the breathing for you.” 

 

Clay looked over at Jason and saw his reassuring face. Clay didn’t like the concern that was clouding Jason’s eyes, so he made a visible attempt to relax. 

 

Don’t want Jason to worry about me, I can do this. He was still on edge, but apparently doing well enough with the mask that the nurse started fitting it tightly to his face with velcro straps that wrapped around the back of his head. As it tightened, he began to panic again. It was claustrophobic and uncomfortable, the edges pressing hard into his skin. His heart began to pound as his breathing stuttered, not being able to fall into the rhythm that the machine was setting. 

 

“Clay!” Jason appeared in his field of vision, “Relax, just imagine it’s a diving mask. You’ve worn one many times, you can do this.” 

 

With soft coaching from Jason, Clay was able to relax enough to get into the rhythm of the machine. Once he got into stride with it, he had to admit that it was a lot easier to breathe. All of the tension left his body as he melted into the bed, relieved to have a break. 

 

Jason watched as Clay drifted off to sleep, more at ease than he’d been for a while. Hopefully, he would be able to get a good rest now that he didn’t have to fight to breathe. The doctor and nurse excused themselves from the room and Jason sat there, watching his youngest team member’s chest rise and fall. 

 

After sitting by the kid’s bedside until he got sore from sitting in the uncomfortable chairs, he stood and made his way out of the ICU. The rest of the team, who had been waiting outside of the doors, stood up as he exited the doors. 

 

“How is he?” Ray asked first, the question on everyone’s lips, “How’d he do with the machine thing?”

 

“The BiPAP,” Trent supplied from his chair. He’d been discharged from the hospital this morning and while he wasn’t quite 100% yet, he’d been adamant that he would stay until he saw Clay. 

 

“It was a bit touch and go in the beginning,” Jason admitted, running his hands through his hair, “But once he settled into it, it seems to really be helping.” 

 

An accumulative sigh ran through the group. 

 

“Who’s next on deck?” Sonny piped up. They had unofficially decided that Clay would always have someone with him. The ICU staff had been very accommodating, even putting a cot in Clay’s room for whoever pulled the night shift. 

 

“I’m on,” Trent said and stopped Jason before he could object, “You’ve all seen Clay already, and they discharged me; all I need to do is rest and what’s strenuous about sitting in a chair watching the kid sleep?” 

 

Jace conceded and Trent left the group with the promise of texting if anything changed. He settled himself in the hard, plastic chair and surveyed the situation. Clay had multiple IV’s, one in his left hand to deliver fluids to keep him hydrated, one in his left forearm for antibiotics and another in his right forearm for pain medication. Wires were coming out from under his hospital gown, attached to the vital signs monitor. A catheter snaked out from under the blanket, attached to drainage bag at the side of the bed. 

 

Trent checked Clay’s vital signs, which weren’t perfect, but not in the danger zone anymore. Then Trent looked at Clay. He looked like he was ready to explore a galaxy far, far away with the BiPAP mask, and it even had the sounds to go with it. 

 

“You sound like Darth Vader,” Trent joked to a sleeping Clay. He then pulled out a book and began reading, keeping a careful eye on his brother. 

 

******

 

The ICU was in the middle of the hospital, so there were no windows and if Trent didn’t have his phone, he would have no concept of time. Clay slept semi-peacefully for about two hours and then he woke up, slightly panicking from the mask. 

 

“Hey, you’re good, you’re alright,” Trent was quick to sit on the bed beside him, careful not to dislodge any of the tubes. “Just let the machine do the work.”

 

Clay nodded, forcing his body into submission. Once his breathing was under control, he turned to Trent and his eyes lit up as he realized who was with him. He tried to talk, but the mask made it impossible. 

 

“Don’t talk,” Trent warned, “I’ll get you a piece of paper and pen if you want.” 

 

Clay nodded, so Trent tracked down a nurse that would give him a notepad. He returned while Clay was in a coughing fit, his entire body racked by deep, painful coughs. All Trent could do was rub his back as he gasped for breath. After what felt like too long, the coughs subsided and Clay settled back down into the bed with a moan, holding his chest. His face was drawn tight from pain. 

 

“Do you need more pain meds?” Trent asked, and Clay nodded. After they’d been administered, Clay’s face relaxed and he turned to Trent again, making a writing motion with his hand. Trent handed over the pen and paper and watched as Clay scrawled out what he wanted to say. 

 

“We really need to work on your penmanship,” Trent joked, and Clay glared at him. 

 

‘You okay?’ Clay wrote. 

 

“Yeah, I’m good. Got a clean bill of health, thanks to you.”

 

‘I was worried. You wouldn’t stay awake. I thought I failed.’

 

Trent swallowed the lump that formed in his throat, “You didn’t fail. We’re both here, we’re both going to be okay.” 

 

Clay nodded as if that’s all he needed to hear. He sighed the best that he could into the mask, obviously exhausted. His eyes were slipping closed, only for him to jerk himself awake again with a cough. Eventually, the exhaustion won out and he descended into slumber. 

 

He didn’t wake up for the rest of Trent’s ‘shift’ and Sonny eventually came to switch out with him for the night. Trent went home, emotionally and physically drained. 

 

******

 

Jason woke up groggily to the sound of his cellphone buzzing on his bedside table. Looking at the clock, he saw that it was 2am and was almost tempted not to answer the call. But once he looked at who the call was from, he shot up in bed. 

 

“Sonny,” He tried to keep the anxiousness out of his voice, “What’s going on?” 

 

For a second there was silence on the other end and Jason could hear his heart pounding in his ears. 

 

“Jace,” Sonny began, his voice choked, “Boss, he’s getting worse.” 

 

“How much worse?” Jason tried to quell the panic rising up. 

 

“Um,” Sonny took in a stuttering breath, “They think he’s developing sepsis, that his organs are on the verge of shutting down. It’s bad, really bad.” 

 

“I’ll be right there.” He said firmly, “You hang tight, alright?”

 

He got a noncommittal sound from Sonny as he hung up, and as he was frantically dressing into clothes that are at least semi-respectable, he called Ray. 

 

“Ray,” He said as soon as he picked up, “Clay’s gotten worse. I need you to call the rest of the team and let them know. I’m heading to the hospital right now.” He hung up before he got an answer, trusting in his second-in-command to get the job done. 

 

Jason woke up Emma to let her know where he was going and then he’s off, driving like a madman to reach the hospital. It’s a miracle that he didn’t get pulled over. He raced down the familiar route to the ICU, wishing that he didn’t know the path as well as he does now. He spotted Sonny, who was looking like he was falling apart right then and there. 

 

“Sonny!” Jason called as he rushed up to him, “Quinn! What’s going on?” 

 

Sonny visibly pulled himself together in order to answer, “He was doing fine when I got there, but he kept having to breathe faster and faster, and then his heart monitor was going crazy and they kicked me out! They’ve only come out here once to let me know about the sepsis and that’s when I called you.” 

 

Just then a doctor exited the ICU, “Are you here for Clay Spenser?” She asked.

 

“How is he?” Jason stepped forward, taking charge. 

 

“Well, I have good news and bad news for you,” She said, “The bad news is that he has in fact developed sepsis, but,” She quickly continued on as their faces fell, “The good news is that we caught it early, so that increases the likelihood that we’ll be able to nip it in the bud before it gets any worse.” 

 

“Okay, so what’s the game plan here?” Jason asked, putting his hands on his hips, trying to gain some semblance of control in the situation. 

 

“We’ve started Clay on another round of broad-spectrum antibiotics, and we’re monitoring him carefully. We may have to consider putting him on a ventilator to give his body the rest that it needs, but we’ll reevaluate in the morning.” She smiled sympathetically, “Clay’s fighting really hard right now, I’m sure it wouldn’t hurt for him to have some familiar faces nearby for the moment.” 

 

Jason sent a quick text to Ray explaining what was going on and where they would be before he and Sonny scrubbed their hands and arms with direction from the doctor. They had to wear a thin mask and gown as well, to try to limit the exposure to germs and infection. Clay didn’t need any more of that. 

 

Clay was awake but clearly wrung out. He was panting and coughing beneath the large BiPAP mask. His face was flushed and hot to the touch. He looked so young, lying there in the bed, covered in equipment. Sonny’s breath hitched in his throat when he saw that tears had formed in the kid’s eyes, and he rushed to reassure him. 

 

“We’re right here, we’re gonna stick with you. So you better stick with us, alright? No more of this getting sicker, you’re going to beat this thing. You hear me?”

 

Clay gave a minuscule nod, then reached out his hand to grab Sonny’s and gripped it as tightly as his exhausted body allowed. He squeezed once, and then closed his eyes to focus on the task of drawing in his next breath. And the one after that. Because he was not giving up on his team. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And there is chapter four! I hope you guys enjoy, I've certainly had fun writing it (well, for the most part :P) I think that there are probably one or two more chapters left in this story, so look out for those!  
> Sorry for any medical inaccuracies, I tried my very best with searching through the internet. so...many...medical...websites lol


	5. Chapter 5

It was hard for Ray to see their youngest team member like this. It had been two days after Clay was diagnosed with sepsis and while things weren’t getting worse, things weren’t getting better either.

Clay was exhausted from the fever and the constant effort of breathing. He spent most of his time either fitfully sleeping or staring with his eyes just barely open, not really focussing on anything in particular. He didn’t have the energy to eat and he was quickly losing weight. It made him look even more like a kid as he lay there almost catatonically.

There were moments when Clay would be more active and would acknowledge their presence by a huff of air or by weakly squeezing their hands. But two-way communication via pen and paper were out the window, he just didn’t have the alertness for that. Ray almost wished that the doctors would sedate Clay and put him on a ventilator. At least that way he could actually get a decent amount of rest and he wouldn’t have this horrible half-awareness where he was aware of the pain he was in, but unaware of the comfort that the team was trying to provide.

Sedation wasn’t off the table though, in fact, if Clay didn’t show any signs of improvement by the evening, the doctors had decided to go through with it. Ray was hoping that Clay’s fever, which had been holding constant for the past couple days, would break or breathing would suddenly come easier. But if it didn’t, Ray had conceded that sedation would be the best thing for Clay. If anything, it would make him more comfortable until it wasn’t enough to support him anymore. And then they’d know that they had done everything that they could.

Jace, while at first vehemently opposed to the idea, had begun to face the facts. He would prefer Clay to be comfortable and slip away peacefully than to keep him just alert enough to feel the pain as he died. Jason had been running the disastrous mission through his head over and over again. If they’d only seen the bomb sooner, if they would’ve reached the drowning SEALs a couple of seconds earlier, then maybe this wouldn’t have happened.

Everyone knew that Jason blamed himself. He spent most of his time with Clay either pacing the floor or standing in the corner with his arms crossed, that is, when he came to see Clay. After they’d gotten the news about the sepsis, Jason had made himself scarce, as if he thought his very presence was bad luck. The rest of the team were all dealing with it in their own way. Sonny stayed out late, coming in for his times with Clay with alcohol on his breath. Brock had thrown himself into training Cerberus, saying that he was taking advantage of the time off. Ray and Trent were the two who spent the most time at the kid’s bedside.

“Alright kid,” Trent leaned back in his chair. They’d gotten more comfy ones, courtesy of the very understanding nurses. “Which book do you want today? We have a classic, Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince or a more scientific one, Parallel Worlds by Michio Kaku.”

Ray groaned, “This is just your excuse to indoctrinate us with your fantasy/sci-fi tastes.”

“So what if it is? Besides, Parallel Worlds isn’t fiction.” Trent corrected playfully, then turned back to Clay, “Pick a book, any book.”

Clay slowly raised his hand and brushed the second book with his fingertips.

“Good choice,” Trent commented and he began to read.

He’d only gotten through half a chapter before alarm bells started to go off. He quickly looked up and saw that Clay’s oxygen saturation was rapidly decreasing. The room burst into chaos, doctors and nurses all running in.

“He’s going into severe acute respiratory distress,” A doctor announced, “We need to intubate, now!”

Ray and Trent had been pushed off to the side as they watched the ICU staff as they expertly performed the intubation. Clay was immediately hooked up to a ventilator and the alarms slowly died off. The staff made their way out once they were sure that he was stable, but Trent stopped one of the doctors as she was leaving.

“What’re his chances now?” He asked quietly, and she sighed.

“Hopefully the sedation and ventilator give his body a chance to rest, but to be honest, with everything his body is dealing with right now, I give him about a 50% chance to make it through the night.”

As she left, Trent and Ray exchanged strained looks.

“I’ll let the team know to come down,” Ray said solemnly.

Soon enough, the remainder of the team had gathered outside the doors to the ICU, tag teaming which two would be with Clay. Their faces were sombre as they quietly sat, waiting for their turn with the kid. For the next twelve hours, they were a constant fixture outside of the ICU. Even when it was clear that Clay had made it through the night, Bravo team stayed.

Then, in the shy early hours of the next morning, they got the news that they’d been holding out for. Clay’s temperature had finally broken. His infections were slowly receding and it looked like the tide was turning.

“I don’t know how,” One of his doctors spoke to the team, amazement in his eyes, “But I think he’s going to be okay.”

After three days of being on the ventilator, Clay was slowly weaned off of it. Sonny was relieved to see the machine leaving the room, he’d hated seeing Clay laying impassively in the bed with his lips slightly parted, a tube snaking in between them. But now all Clay had was a standard oxygen mask, not even the bulky BiPAP mask.

Jason and Brock were with him the first time he opened his eyes, coming out of sedation.

They’d been talking quietly between them, then Brock felt Clay’s hand give his own a soft squeeze and he almost jumped up out of his chair.

“Clay!” Brock breathed a sigh of relief when he saw those baby blue eyes cracked open and more aware than he’d seen them in what felt like ages. “You scared us, buddy.”

Jason’s heartfelt a million times lighter when Clay gave a slight shrug in response. He leaned forward and ordered, “Don’t you ever do that to us again Spenser, you hear me?”

Clay nodded in response, then his eyes slipped closed again and he drifted off to sleep.

Four days later, Clay was out of the ICU, having spent almost two weeks there. The team was happy when they got lost on the way to Clay’s room again, it was reassuring in a strange way. After spending three more days in the hospital, Clay was back home. Well, in a way.

“You know,” Clay protested as the team milled around him, “I could’ve stayed at my apartment, the doctor’s said that I was fine to be home.”

“Nope,” Jason shot him down, “You’re staying here with me, Emma and Mickey. I’m keeping an eye on you, Spenser, until you’re completely back on your feet.”

The team had discussed it and as Clay had no family to look after him, they’d decided that he would stay at Jason’s place. Decided or dictated, whichever word sounded better. Regardless of what it was being called, they were going to look after Clay and make sure that he made a full recovery. Because they were his family, and they were never going to leave him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And that's the end! Sorry that it's so short.  
> I'm not really sure how much I like the ending, but was hitting a wall as to what else to do. Hopefully you guys enjoy it regardless!


End file.
